Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Oh, cake pop!

Okay.  First.  I don't know why there's an arrow right in the middle of that photo.  I didn't mean to make a movie starring a cake pop.  Who would want to watch a movie like that?  Did I push the wrong button on my camera?  Because all I wanted was a regular, normal picture so I could write a rant about cake pops which goes like this:

Dear Cake Pop,

What are you anyway?  A cake?  Or a lollipop?

 I'll tell you what you are.

You are neither cake nor lollipop.  Fish nor fowl.  Tiger nor lion.  Which would at least make you a liger.  Like Shasta.  Who used to be at the Hogle Zoo.  Even after she was dead.  Because they stuffed her.  And put her right there in the Lion House after she was dead.   That's what happened to ligers back in the day.  And by Lion House, btw, I don't mean mean the place where Brigham Young lived.

But at least if you were a liger, at least you would be cool and totally worth a mention by Napoleon Dynamite.

But no.  You are no liger.   You're half-cake and half-lollipop--two species that should never ever mate, because who wants a lollipop that doesn't last and a cake that's tiny and round, like a non-delicious marble?

Think about, Cake Pop.  You can't be both.  So choose a species and go with it.

Best wishes,

Ann Cannon


Lisa B. said...

Cake pops are absurd. They are not cake, because they are a ridiculous amount of frosting mixed with a paltry amount of cake, which results in headache inducement, which is basically just a cruel cruel joke on the person who naively believes she is getting cake in pop form. NOT HAPPENING. It is all a cruel cruel ruse, or joke, and I condemn it!

That said, they are damned cute.

James said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LucindaF said...

What a cute painted thumbnail you have.
The real suspense of your 18 second movie was waiting to see if you were sporting an avocado face and cucumber eyes, OR a cigar and silk ascot. The white robe and slippers left me with all kinds of situational questions.

I don't like the feel or taste of lollipop sticks. And I'd much rather eat an anonymous amount of frosted cake bites. I don't want any cake pop mile post markers staring at me after a bout of mindless gorging.