Saturday, December 19, 2015

Star Wars

Well, the whole Star Wars thing is our era's mythology, right?  Sort of like The Iliad and the Odyssey belong to classical civilizations and Beowulf belongs to the Anglo-Saxons, Star Wars belongs to us.  And it's a particularly potent mythology for people who came of age watching the movies, like my oldest son who has loved Star Wars for forever.

So, it was with pleasure that we all saw it last night, although (I'll confess) I wasn't camping out for tickets or counting down the minutes or getting dressed up.  I like Stars Wars.  I even honor Star Wars.  But when push comes to shove, I could have waited to see it.

Still.  There was something  sweet about the thought of seeing it last night with the first-born (even though he and his wife ended up in another auditorium wth?)

Okay.  I liked it.  A lot, even.  Like a reviewer on NPR said, it works, because it hits all the familiar notes and hits them well.  Personally, I was unprepared for how emotional I felt when I saw the characters who have aged.

Like me.

It was an oddly bittersweet experience.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015



So a son had his tonsils removed this morning, and watching (listening!) to him come out of the anesthesia was entertaining.  To say the least.   As it turns out, this son is a freaking force of nature when he's completely unfiltered.

The commentary never stopped.  Whenever the nurse walked through the room he'd say, "Pam!  Is it hard to be nice to people all day?"  And then he would start rapping, yo.  Straight out of Compton!

He also asked another nurse if I should continue to let my hair go gray or if I should dye it.

And then he flipped me and his dad off like we were Australians in that episode of Flight of the Conchords where Dave has to teach the boys from New Zealand how to give someone the bird, after which they all head down to the Australian embassy and flip off a guard because you know how it is. Sometimes you just have to flip off a guard from Australia.


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

My encounter with a Mormon missionary at the Smith's today

Today while picking up a prescription for Ken Cannon, I saw a missionary standing in line with seriously bandaged fingers.  Like, they were mummy fingers with big steel rods poking out and so forth.

ME:  Elder!  What happened?

ELDER:  I had a run-in with a snow blower.

ME:  Was it a service project?

ELDER:  Yes.

ME:  That'll teach you to serve your fellow man again.

ELDER:  Right?

ME:  I'll bet your mom is worried about you.

ELDER:  She doesn't know.

ME:  Good man.

I thoroughly subscribe to the philosophy that missionaries should communicate bad news to mothers on a need-to-know basis.  And who needs to know anyway when you're here and your kid is someplace where you can't do a damn thing for her or him anyway?

Words to live by, people.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Things I've Learned as a Result of Watching the Hallmark Movie Channel During This Christmas Season

Okay, for starters, I haven't watched it a lot.  But Kathy and Sally, my running pals, have it on during the month of December the way I have on my radio.  And since the news has gotten so damn depressing lately, I decided to give ye old Hallmark a try.

Here's what I've learned so far.

1.  Almost everybody in the original movies looks like somebody famous.  Kate Middleton.  Rachel Weisz, Jennifer Garner, that girl who played the ghost who flew out of the toilet in one of the Harry potter movies.  You know the one I mean.  The one with the weird voice which probably is the result of being a ghost who flies out of toilets and so forth.

2.  Adorable, precocious kids (who only a grandparent would actually think are a) adorable and b) precocious) are important plot facilitators.

3.  There are a lot of minor European countries with minor royal families who all speak with American accents in this world.

I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Sort of like Fifty Shades

So I had an emergency root canal this morning (good times!) and wow.

Let it be said that I love my dentist.  He's a friend!  And a dentist!  And it was awesomeness all around how he worked me into his schedule today because I had an angry tooth that just kept yelling at me.

But.  Root canals.  Ugh.

By the time I was lying upside down with a rubber shield over my facial parts, I felt like I had wandered onto the set of Fifty Shades.

In other news, while I was waiting for my dentist, I read a story in People called "Khloe Kardashian Breaks Her Silence."  And I was all WHEN WAS SHE EVER QUIET?