Monday, April 1, 2013

TRQ and Possibly My Least Favorite Holiday

This doesn't apply to Easter.  I love Easter.  But April Fool's Day?  Not so much.  This is due to TRQ.  She owes me some serious therapy time.

Here's the deal.  She went all cray-cray on April 1.  Like, you were afraid to open doors because you figured a bucket of water would suddenly drop on your head.  She dyed our food green, loosened caps on salt shakers and put dry dog food in our shoes, because nothing says, "HEY, KIDS!  YOUR MAMA LOVES YOU!"  like dry dog food in your shoes.

And the worst part was that I could never ever get her back, because she was always on high cray-cray alert on April 1.  No sir you were NOT running any smack past her on 4/1.  She was the one and only 4/1 smack-runner in our family.

Except for that one day when we were all grown up and my dad was still coaching and I called her to ask if she'd turned on the news yet.


I heard the fear in her voice, because back in the day we all feared being blindsided (not in a Sandra Bullock movie kind of way) by radio reports, as in YOUR DAD HAS BEEN FIRED, etc.

"It's bad news," I said.  "They're talking about it on KSL."

"What happened?"

"Six starters got busted by the cops.  They'll probably be suspended.  There goes next season."

I could hear her rend her clothing.  Or whatever it was they did in the Bible when someone got bad news.

"April Fool's!"  I said.

Big, big, unnaturally and also scary big pause.

"You are a perfect little shit," she finally said.  And then she hung up on me.

Best compliment TRQ ever game me.


Lisa B. said...

This is my favorite April 1 story EVER.

Claudia said...

That just made my day! I love you and your mom!

wjmom said...

Best. story. ever. I love TRQ. And you.

I. need. more. periods.