Thursday, April 25, 2013

A look I might wish to re-think

A little while ago I realized that I'm starting to fade.  Literally.  That's what happens when you age--everything about you just gets a whiter shade of pale.  So I started wearing eye makeup again so that people will still see me waiting to check out a book at the circ desk or sitting there on the pew at church or standing at the counter to order hamburgers (current fave:  Crown Burger).  It would suck not to get a Crown Burger because the people who work there can't see me anymore.

Okay.  Good call, right?  Except that because I'm me, I'm kinda only half-aware of what I'm throwing into the shopping cart.  I need some eyeliner?  Okay.  Fine.  Whatever.  This one'll do.

And that, folks, is how I buy my makeup.

Anyway, before leaving the house this morning, I grabbed one of the newer eyeliner stick thingys floating around in the drawer--(I like that image btw:  like my eyeliner is floating around in my drawer on a little innertube with a beach umbrella while sipping a Mai Tai)--and quickly applied some color to my face.

Then Ken Cannon got a look at me.

KC:   Wait.  What did you do to your eyes?

ME:  Used some eyeliner.  You know.  Like I did when we were in high school.

KC:  But your eyes.  They're glittering.

ME:  They always glitter since I had the cataracts removed and the doctor put Hubble Telescopes in my eyeballs so I can see Mars from my house.  Cyborg eyes are awesome!

KC:  It's not that.  Your makeup is glittering.

So I checked myself in my mirror, and he was right.  This eyeliner that I barely paid attention to when I a) bought it and b) applied it, is blue.  And it glitters.  So now I look like a cast member of Cats.

And the worst part?  It's waterproof.

Which makes a PERMANENT cast member of Cats, obv.


Bonnie White said...

Oh Ann that was too funny. You make me laugh. I started dyeing my eyebrows. You can buy a kit at Sally Shops. You look like Groucho Marx sister for a day or two, they are nice for about two weeks and then you go back to pale to start the process all over again.

radagast said...

HiLARious! Photos, please.