I was actually excited when I saw the noun "aardvark"! Thanks for that, Jeanna, I said in my head. Because you know what? Recently I took my granddaughter (aka "the Bean") to Hogle Zoo where a docent was holding a baby aardvark for all the little kids to touch. So all the little kids were touching it and the baby aardvark gave them coy looks through her impossibly long eyelashes. Like, she could have been a Kardashian with those eyelashes, only much, much more likable.
Did you hear that, Kardashians? A baby aardvark is way more likable than you guys are! And also, her eyelashes weren't fake. So tinkerty tonk (as Bertie Wooster is fond of saying) and I mean it to sting.
Anyway, the Bean loved the aardvark, and I was very glad I was allowed to touch it myself, because seriously. It's not every day you go around touching aardvarks with your granddaughter. So yes. I was excited to write about this topic.
And then I remembered. It wasn't a baby aardvark at Hogle Zoo that day.
It was an armadillo.