Thursday, August 1, 2013

Today I am in love with a cop: Park Stories

This morning while I was riding my bike in Liberty Park, I noticed a police car high-centered on a curb.  I also noticed a couple of SLCPD cops.  And because I am so very awesome at NOTICING, I also noticed a "Crime Scene Unit" van, as well as another cop taking photos of the high-centered police car.

"Why, what is going on here?"  my brain asked myself.

And so myself started spinning various scenarios for my brain, such as the following:

Cop drives down Seventh East.  Cop notices Banbury Cross.  Cop pulls into parking lot with intent to buy donut.  Hopefully the buttermilk bar, which is excellent at Banbury Cross.  Much better than the one at Mrs. Backer's, although not significantly better than the one at Parson's Bakery in North Salt Lake.  But then North Salt Lake isn't on this cop's beat.  And this isn't a story about buttermilk bars anyway.

Cop parks.  Goes inside.  Walks back outside.  Notices car has been stolen.  Probably by young punks eager to joyride in Liberty Park at 5:30 in the morning, as young punks are wont to do.  Cop puts out APB.  Backup arrives.  Cop and fellow officers hunt down joy-riding punks who have high-centered police car  on curb and fled the scene of the crime.  Young punks last seen heading for Banbury Cross, because your know how it is.  Young punks like buttermilk bars, too.

So yeah.  That was my story.  Anyway, I actually stopped and had the following conversation with the cop by the car.

ME:  May I ask what happened here?

COP:  Well, the peacocks got loose . . .

ME:  This is already an excellent story.

Anyway, yes.  The peacocks got loose.  And apparently in an effort to avoid them, as well as to avoid other cars, this cop accidentally backed up onto a curb and into a tree.

COP:  I will never live this down.

So here's why I fell in love with him.  Because he told me the real story and didn't go all LAW AND ORDER:  CRIMINAL INTENT on me.   He was funny and embarrassed and truthful.

Well played, Officer!

 (And if a student of mine wrote this donut story I would dock points for cop-and-donut cliche.  And then I would go buy myself a buttermilk bar.)


radagast said...

So many ways to enjoy this post. For one thing, I like the cop-speak, the Dragnet style of the first story. >>Sure. I've heard the one about cops and donuts. We've all heard it. Real funny. Not so funny when it's YOUR kitten caught up a tree and the cop who should be coming to the rescue has his car stuck on the curb. Who's laughing now, John Q. Citizen?<<
Plus, Peacocks on the loose? I love the fact that he dodged the birds, in the first place, and then that the whole squadron came out to assist.

Marianne said...

But were the peacocks trying to get buttermilk bars?

James said...

Love this.

Philsy C said...

"The Peacocks got loose..." is now my phrase for "shit happens".

Made my day!

Louise Plummer said...

Way to improve on the cliche!

Bruce Luck said...

You are a gifted writer.

Lisa B. said...

May I just say that my favorite part of this story is this:

>>"May I ask what happened here?"

You are a boss and a badass.

Jeanna Stay said...

There are just too many ways in which this post is fantastic.

Emily said...

I'm in love with that cop too! I love this story.