Yesterday when I was cleaning house I found a son's "Swear Box" underneath a bed. There was a list of swear words on it with a dollar amount attached, the idea being that if said son used one of these words, he'd put money in the box . . . to make him stop swearing? Like, who was gonna get all that money in the "Swear Box" anyway? Especially since no one knew about the existence of this top secret "Swear Box."
Whatever. I was interested in the words listed (such variety!) and also the dollar amounts ascribed to each one. Personally I was happy to see he was only out 25 cents if he used the word "shit," because seriously, that's such a useful word and it would be a shame to have it priced out of anybody's swearing budget.
My favorite detail? There was no money in the box. Just a bunch of IOU's.
There are no words to describe how happy this discovery from my son's past made me. I asked my son if I could write a column about this and he said sure. He doesn't read my column anyway.