Monday, July 15, 2013

Me vs. the P.O.

As some of you know Ken Cannon and I have a long, long, looooong history over the place of plant material in our lives.  I think it should be everywhere--snaking up trees and trellises and spilling over fences and sidewalks.  I want it all to GROW!  GROW!  GROW!  While he wants it to fold its arms and sit quietly  until it's called upon by the teacher.

But let me say this.  Although the lavender has had an astonishing growing spurt this year--not unlike an eighth-grade boy who changes from a pipsqueak to a slouching hulk over the course of one summer--Ken has not registered a single complaint with me.  Not one!  Nor have I seen his trigger finger itch.  He's sworn off the shears completely when it comes to my plants.  To which I can only say this:  No greater love hath a man . . .

So.  Imagine my ENRAGEMENT when I found a snarky note from my mail carrier Saturday, telling me to cut back all the lavender or else he'll/she'll stop delivering the mail.

Okay.  Fine.  So they have to blaze a trail through the lavender to get to my mailbox everyday.  Is that so hard really?  I thought they were all about the rain and the sleet and the snow and so forth.  But apparently not the lavender.

I spent the weekend fuming and writing angry little notes in my head that said TINKERTY-TONK, YOU GUYS!   But in the end I got up this morning, cut back all the lavender and left it sitting in a heap.

Right below my mailbox.

(MEMO TO KEN CANNON:  Thanks for not saying "I told you so."  You're a better man than I.  But then again, I'm not a man.)


Louise Plummer said...

Really? The mail person is afraid of lavender? How about gnomes? How about the crack in the front steps?

Lisa B. said...

Lavender is a blessing to all man and woman kind from the Lord in heaven above! What is that mailman on about? Is he afraid that he will leave your mailbox smelling all herbal and refreshing? Who fears that? I ask you. Terrible.

Bruce Luck said...

It was the lavender he/she was afraid of. Not the dog?

Anchely said...

Last fall, our letter carrier, who drives around in a little letter carrier truck and chucks mail into curbside mailboxes, demanded that we cut back one dead sunflower stalk because it plonked his truck every day when he pulled up to our mailbox. The man should get hazard pay!

Bob the Woodworker said...

Wah, wah, wah. Although Bob the W. did not put the mail carrier up to the offensive note, he empathizes with her/him. Bees tend to buzz around lavender during the middle of the day when mail carriers tend to be afoot. Maybe s/he is allergic to bees and worries about going into anaphalactic shock. Frankly, I have to confess that Bob doesn't mind not getting his business suits all wet in the moist overhanging lavender in the morning. Postal workers are people too, you know. Just saying.