. . . then WHATEVER YOU DO, don't write a column for the D-news and blab the fact to the whole world (not that the whole world reads the D-news). Because, doll, if you do blab the fact, the Cosmos will make sure you wake up one day with a herniated disc. Hahahahahah and HA!
UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!! Also, bleh. Icing and taking massive doses of Aleve as we speak.