Thursday, April 1, 2010

An unexpected development

For years now I've written about my family--first as a columnist for PARENT EXPRESS, now as a columnist for the D-News. I've never felt an ounce of compunction about this, although as my kids got older and I understood that they were really and truly human beings in their own right, I stopped using their names. Still, I wrote about them. And my husband. And my brothers. And my parents. ESPECIALLY my mother who was born to be a character because she. is. just. so. vivid.

Anyway. I wrote a piece about her this week for Monday's paper, based on a conversation wherein she told me I should buy a blinking light thing and wear it on my head so I won't get hit by a car in the morning when Kathy and I walk. The image of a blinking light thing on my head sort of undid me, so I sat down, dashed off the column and e-mailed it in.

Then. I woke up this morning and wondered if my mom's feelings might be hurt. Will she think I'm making fun of her and her infamous ability to IMMEDIATELY whip up a worst case scenario involving homicidal milk trucks and blinking light things? So I called her for the first time EVER and read it to her and she laughed (a little) (also politely) AND then said, "I didn't say blinking light thing. I said reflector."

Only she didn't.

Whatever. I just think it's odd that after all these years I'm starting to worry about what my family thinks. I mentioned this to my mother who said, "You're afraid that one day we're all gonna start writing about YOU, Missy."

See? I told you she belongs in a book.


LucindaF said...

I'm seeing a pattern here, Missy. And it's name is, second guessing.
Don't worry. Cuz there's a cure.
And I like to call it, believe the nice things I say about you because I am not a liar face.

Also, this could be solved with a fishing trip avec moi.

p.s. don't believe the noise in your head, you've got talent oozing out your ears. (Now you can cancel that ear cleaning appointment. It's not actually a wax infestation. That's creativity, baby.)

Louise Plummer said...

I have a file of unposted blogs for this very reason. Of course, I don't have a clear idea of what is and what isn't exploiting them.

Rachel said...

I've always thought I could make a good run as a stand up comedian, only my family would be my subjects for about 90% of my jokes. They'd laugh at first and then probably go home and cry themselves to sleep.

Lisa B. said...

This is an HILARIOUS incident, and I love it. Also, that thing your mom said about them writing about you? Double hilarious.

One more thing: DO NOT STOP writing about your family. It is excellent work. And I recall columns you wrote like 500 years ago (not really, just exaggerating for fun) like I read them yesterday, because they are (wait for it:) just. that. vivid.

It's (one of your) subject(s). You don't choose your subject, your subject chooses you. (someone told me that once, and I think it sounds about right.)

BBB said...

Well, this could actually be a good writing exercise wherein you take on the voice of everyone in your family and they ARE writing about you.

Amy said...

I think this is called compassion, but I'm not quite sure as it's something I've never experienced. :)

Donna Tagliaferri said...

The best advertisement ever is for a cable station that says, "Characters welcome". Those two words sum up my personal philosophy. My whole life has been filled with characters, from my little town in Texas, to my relatives, to those odd people who worked for my husband, to my cuddly ward members.
Characters are the color in our other wise black and white lives...when you write about your mom, we all get to know her, and all of our lives are better.
I would still like to add that the big news of the week is that Ricky Martin is gay. What next? Richard Simmons?