Monday, April 5, 2010

Semi-homemade and fully scary

This past weekend I read a blog post by someone who attempted to cook an actual meal from recipes created by Sandra Lee, the doyenne of that cooking (I use the term loosely here) show "Semi-homemade." Predictably the food was super gross and I had to laugh because it reminded me of my own semi-homemade-with-Sandra-Lee experience wherein I tried to make a cake in my crock pot.

Which, right there, should have tipped me off to what lay ahead. There are a lot of things on a religious front I don't understand, but I do know that God didn't invent crock pots in which to bake a cake. He already gave us ovens for that.

Anyway. The recipe whereof I speak called for yellow cake mix, a can of cherry pie filling, and oatmeal for the topping. (Brown sugar may have been involved, but I honestly don't think so.) I wondered at the time how that could possibly be good, but I was intrigued because sometimes really unlikely combinations turn out to be surprisingly great. And even though I am in the middle of writing a snotty post about Sandra Lee, I'm not much of a food snob. I'm sort of like the Statue of Liberty when it comes to food, in fact. Bring your poor huddled masses (of food) to me because I welcome them all with my big old Statue of Liberty arms.

Still.

I threw all that stuff in my crock pot, just like Sandra told me to and WOW. It turned out to be this sticky, gooey, non-cakey thing with bits of dry oatmeal on the top. It was completely inedible.

And here's the thing. It didn't save me any money. And it barely saved me any time. And what's the point of cooking something like that?

8 comments:

Lisa B. said...

especially if it wasn't delicious.

I have never ever ever understood the necessity some people feel to use their (whichever implement [crock pot]) for (stuff it truly wasn't designed to do [baking]). Like, is there an imminent Oven Apocalypse that will call for the rise of new baking loci, such as crock pots? It all just makes me ask, in all sincerity, WHY.

However, I was edified by this post. So maybe that's why.

LucindaF said...

Sounds like this lady was going for Dutch Oven Cobbler. Which, is always yummy when you're camping. And I must say, I'm pretty good at that dutch oven thing. You know, because it involves fire.

Anyway- crock pots are not for dessert. Lovin comes from the oven. Or the store.

p.s. you and lady liberty, ha.

LucindaF said...

p.m.s. I love the title.

Amy Jo Lavin said...

You know what's sad? I have a similar experience ANYTIME I try to make ANYTHING. So what did I bring to Easter dinner last night at my parents' house? A fruit dish. Can't mess that one up.

Kerri said...

I used to watch Sandra Lee's show, because it seemed a little like watching a train wreck, complete with fancy tablescapes. Tablescapes? Honestly? And she always had a fancy drink planned to match the theme, because she probably needed that fancy drink to convince herself that her food was edible. Or that anyone would copy her tablescape.

Oh. Being snarky. Sorry.

Louise Plummer said...

You should have spread it on art paper and hung it on the wall.

BBB said...

The things we do because of intrigue...

Donna Tagliaferri said...

I am actually laughing, I mean I laughed!! Almost anyone on the food network, except for Paula Dean who has the good sense to fry everything and add butter on top of that, makes me nervous. That crock pot thing you made reminds me of dogs playing poker...it is just wrong.
I love Paula Dean though, Oprah asked her if she worried about all the fat in her cooking....Paula seemed incredulous and said, "Honey I'm your cook not your doctor!!" Isn't that the woman you want to live next door to? By the way Paula has a big diamond and would never make you cook a cake in a crock pot....