Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I'm pretty sure I'm not succeeding at this

Dear Fiesta Malted Milk Eggs,

I decided not to buy a bag of you this year, although I have been buying bags of you at Easter time for years, because I love you so much. You're my Easter guilty pleasure, but only if you are made by Brach's ("since 1904"). Leaf won't do. Leaf, in fact, is a limp pretender on the Malted Milk Egg front. Leaf Malted Milk Eggs, you are dead to me.

Anyway.

I eat you, Brach's Fiesta Malted Milk Eggs, and suddenly I gain those 5 pounds I was way proud of not gaining in January. So this year I said no to you and your siren egg song. Just like every year. No no no no no no no. And then I went to the grocery store not to buy you and somehow I bought you. Like twenty bags of you. And then I made my son and his wife go back to buy some more.

And I am opening a bag right now as I type this, filled with shame and remorse. But also eagerness.

Sincerely,

Ann

11 comments:

Lisa B. said...

OH MY GOSH I love this. My heart nearly stopped when I read that you were not going to eat them because, as it turns out--and I did not know this until you wrote this post--I depend upon you eating those malted milk eggs. The earth wobbled in its orbit, it did, until I read these sacred words: "And then I went to the grocery store not to buy you and somehow I bought you."

*phew*

radagast said...

Word, sister. But I'll see your malted milk eggs and raise you Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. And, on a related note, I'll see your five pounds and raise you ten.

Amelia said...

THAT! That is exactly how I feel about Cadbury's chocolate mini eggs, the remorse and shame, but also the eagerness. And PS They are available all year round over here. Help me Rhonda.

Tiffany said...

I'm the only one who eats them in the family, but it never stops me from stuffing them in the Easter eggs (and, my mouth) every year. Added bonus: the candy coating makes some amazing lipstick shades.

Dr Write said...

Every month, I sort of say, I'm not going to eat so much X (in which X is either sugar or chocolate or a specific variety of such), and then there is some holiday, deposited in the midst of my thinking, and it always foils me.
To wit: March = girl scout cookies
and then BAM! Easter with its beautifully colored M&Ms or those peanut butter eggs. So anyway, I'm with you. I will not buy them, and then I will and eat the whole bag and on Easter morning I'm all: what peanut butter eggs?

Anne said...

OK but no PEEPS.

Emily said...

Ooo. I love peeps, but a little bit stale, left out on the counter too long.

Louise Plummer said...

Love all malt balls, good and bad.

About Denver; I've never heard anyone say, "I've always wanted to live in Denver." Boulder, yes. Denver, no.

Donna said...

my favorite Easter candy is odd to be sure...it is these little egg shaped jelly bean sort of but more soft with white sprinkly things on them...only at Sees....what in the world are they? anyway it is really hard to get to sees...not in my path...so I manage to just choke down everything else...
I am a horrid candy mess

Phil Cannon said...

Yup Cadbury eggs are my thing. I've stocked up on a ton of them. Easter is totally boss.

Dylan C. said...

Did you also get some everlasting Peeps? You need to stock up on those in case there is a nuclear fallout (those will last through it).