I'm pretty sure I'm not succeeding at this

Dear Fiesta Malted Milk Eggs,

I decided not to buy a bag of you this year, although I have been buying bags of you at Easter time for years, because I love you so much. You're my Easter guilty pleasure, but only if you are made by Brach's ("since 1904"). Leaf won't do. Leaf, in fact, is a limp pretender on the Malted Milk Egg front. Leaf Malted Milk Eggs, you are dead to me.

Anyway.

I eat you, Brach's Fiesta Malted Milk Eggs, and suddenly I gain those 5 pounds I was way proud of not gaining in January. So this year I said no to you and your siren egg song. Just like every year. No no no no no no no. And then I went to the grocery store not to buy you and somehow I bought you. Like twenty bags of you. And then I made my son and his wife go back to buy some more.

And I am opening a bag right now as I type this, filled with shame and remorse. But also eagerness.

Sincerely,

Ann