Monday, July 6, 2009

Reflections on toilet paper

Today's column.


Lisa B. said...


>> Our family always stayed in Motel 6 when I was growing up and that was GREAT because what could be better than flopping down on a Magic Fingers (kids, ask your parents) bed after a long, long day of fighting with your brothers in the backseat of a station wagon? That didn't have air conditioning?

and this:

>> But still. I've seen movies about the Ritz. Male guests wear top hats and tails. Women wear beaded gowns and gardenias in their hair. Together they drink champagne and dance all night and laugh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha at witty jokes and completely REFUSE to use toilet paper unless it's been folded into a perfect point because — hello — they're just way too good to use a blunt edge like the rest of us.

filled me with envy for your estimable phrasing and wit and way with punctuation.

What a wonderful writer you are.

LucindaF said...

Told you, you were in perfect form on this one. Laughed myself through the whole thing.

I'm with Lisa, your sentence structure is brill, and something my first creative writing teacher hate, hate, hated in my essays. Thanks for putting "the man" down for me with your well-placed, completely fractured sentences.

LucindaF said...

Did you see the letter to the editor today about you? Apparently you're so awesome people are compelled to tell the editor you're the best part about their Monday's. - I agree.

Carolyn V. said...

I love toilet paper! I'm totally going to start folding the bottoms. Give my kids a little self-esteem. =)

Bob the Woodworker said...

I have stayed at the Ritz Carlton and the Parker Meridien and the Plaza and the Waldora Astoria and the Rihga Royal. Incidentally, one of the worst hotel rooms I ever stayed in was in the Plaza - it did not even have a window in any room. I have also stayed in more Marriotts and Best Westerns and Sheratons and Hiltons than I care to remember. The funny thing is I don't remember pointy toilet paper in the grand hotels (as noted, not always so grand), though it may have been. On the other hand, The toilet paper is always pointed after housekeeping visits in lesser, though good hotels.

Ann's writing is to die for and this column is no exception. My draft obituary (I know, it's sick) says something like one of the few regrets the deceased had was that he could not write as well as Ann Edwards Cannon.

Ha ha ha ha!

K Ripley said...

I loved this column. And as someone who worked once in BYU janitorial services for 6 weeks (4--8 a.m. shift--not smart when the college bedtime was 2 a.m.) I I think it totally rocks that you noticed. I absolutely remember cleaning some dude's office and thinking what a stinking great job I had done, and hoping someone would notice.

Also, loved, loved the ending. There's nothing better than a great ending, except maybe my grandma's potato salad. :)