How to Be the Noisiest Person in the Room

So I've been taking this mindfulness class on Monday nights for the past two months, and it's been very useful on a number of fronts.  On Saturday we had our day-long silence practice, meaning we weren't supposed to talk from the moment we checked in at 9:00 until we checked out at 4:00.

I liked it.  It made me realize how unquiet my life usually is.  It felt good to be still.

Except I did eat some potato chips and let me tell you that there is nothing as noisy as eating potato chips in a room full of quiet.  Every sound involved--from the opening of the bag to the crunching motion of your mouth--becomes seismic.  Like, you could get on a citywide PA system and announce "ANN CANNON IS EATING POTATO CHIPS!  SO MANY POTATO CHIPS!  SHE IS CAUSING TSUNAMIS AROUND THE WORLD BECAUSE OF ALL THAT POTATO CHIP NOISE SHE'S MAKING."

And that's how you turn into the noisiest person in the room.

You're welcome.