Thursday, February 12, 2015

The thrill is gone . . .

Not out of my marriage.  But out of flying.

Remember when flying used to be glam?  Like, they gave you free decks of cards and you watched movies and you wondered if Magnum P.I. had dated any of the stews that were plying you with peanuts and Coke.

But now?  Ugh.  Torture.

I just flew to and from H-Town on Frontier.  Oops.  Should I say?  So it wasn't Frontier.  It was Fake-Frontier.

On the plus side, the steward gave the single funniest standup I have ever heard when it came to the plane's safety features before take-off.  Dude was like THIS IS THE JUNGLE BOOK CRUISE AND BOY DO I HAVE SOME GOOD MATERIAL FOR YOU.  And he did.  I'm sort of in love with that guy right now.

Also on the plus side.  Super cheap.  So yes.  I'm grateful for that because I could go see my Texas kin.

HOWEVER.  They charge you for everything.  And I do mean everything.  Checked bags.  Carry on bags.  Drinks.  Peanuts.  The TV.  When the stews (who I doubt Magnum ever dated because they probably weren't born then) asked if I waned some water, I asked non-ironically, "Is it free?"  And they looked offended.

Also, the seats were so uncomfortable.  I suspect this has something to do with the fact that they have so many seats crammed into the hull now.  It's like the seats are at this weird angle so that your feet dangle and your bum disappears into some deep dark seat hole.  This allows, of course, for more uncomfortable seats to be installed.

And then (in another cost-saving move) there was no one at the counter to take my pre-checked bag.  As in for hours.

But remember.  It wasn't Frontier.


James said...

You should pay a little extra to get the "perks" of SouthWest Airlines. Every flight I have taken from Houston to Las Vegas has been miserable. One late night flight I was sitting in front of huge men who looked like the spawn of evil Cattle Barons. They were drinking, loud, obnoxious, "son-of-bitching" this and that the whole flight long. When we landed, disembarked, and they saw the slot machines at the airport, they kept hollering: "Come to Papa." I have no love for flying from Houston.

Louise Plummer said...

I think I've had that steward on a flight. Talk about making the most out of your work! He was almost worth the flying discomfort.

radagast said...

Golly I enjoy your writing, Ann. Thanks for posting!

Lisa B. said...

it is, truly, awful. flying is such an ordeal. I'm grateful, because I can see people who live far away from me, but why has flying had to get so awful? I agree, though, don't take the worst airline, whatever it is called. although maybe it's just Houston. in which case, maybe you should talk your people into moving to, like, South Jordan, so you can drive.