Wednesday, February 18, 2015

In defense of (some) men

So, not surprisingly, the Fifty Shades column has provoked a certain amount of discussion--both online and off.

YES!  I'M A GENIUS!  Just throw the words "fifty shades" in your headline and the people, they will flock to your column.

Anyhoo.  That's not the point.  The point is that I received a few interesting links this morning from a good friend about the fifty phenom--one of which talked about organized religion's long, long, long and frequently dark history of wrangling with female sexuality.  It's like religion hasn't always known what to do with us.  Make us virgins!  Veil us!  Stone us!  Burn us at the stake!  Make a man's bad behavior all our fault!

You get the idea.  And I've certainly written about this before, how resentful I felt that the boys I knew had more opportunities both inside and outside of my church than the girls did.  But as a woman who has been fortunate enough in this life to know a lot of good men, I also think that men get unfairly treated by the powers that be, too.

Let's look at the church thing for a minute, shall we?  I have five fabulous sons, some of whom are active in the LDS church and some of whom are not.  I wouldn't trade a one of them.  At this stage of my life it seems pretty clear to me that we're all on different paths--and sometimes those paths are exactly the ones we should be on, even if they seem scary and unfamiliar to others.

Also not the point of this post, but whatever.

The real point is this--one of those boys stopped going to priesthood sessions a long time ago because all they ever talked about (according to him) was pornography and how bad it is.  Which (when you think about it) is its own kind of pornography--always talking about it, I mean.  He got to the point where he felt like a lot of people think "male-ness" in and of itself is inherently evil--the source of all mankind's problems.

So complicated.  So not black and white.  But not fifty damn shades of grey either.

Bottom line.  I know a lot of good men.  And some of them are even religious, you know?


Emily said...

Yes! I agree with you. I feel like the new feminism that's creeping around the interwebs is so unrelenting to any kind of man. And I'm with you. I would even deign to say that MOST of the men in my acquaintance are GOOD men.

radagast said...

Are there more good women than good men, I wonder? It seems like it, based on my experience. And if so, why? Is it that a man's usually greater size makes him naturally lean toward aggression? I know, I know--what does "good" mean. But, you kind of know it when you experience it, right?

James said...

Why do they slap babies behinds when they are born? The answer is to knock the penises of the good ones. (Thank you, I will be here all week.)

I am Omni-sexist. I think there is good and bad people in whatever gender or sexual preference you have.

Lisa B. said...

I think the reactions to the book/movie phenomenon re pornography are super interesting. Just observing, over here in my corner of Haven't-Read-It, Not-Gonna-See-It-ville.