I've been working on a letter in hopes that I'll get hired for a certain gig and gah. It's so boring. I sound so boring. And yet I don't really dare to bust loose because then you become one of those cliche disasters editors always talk about when they give talks called HOW NOT TO BE A CLICHE DISASTER! So. Here are a few of the no-no's.
No fancy fonts.
No pink ink.
No pictures of your cats.
Nothing that screams LOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATME even though the whole point of writing a letter about yourself is to get someone to look at you.
It's tricky, writing a thing that will make someone want to hire you when there are so many other people out there who want to be hired, too. But I'll soldier on and try to get it right. Meanwhile, I'll write the letter I REALLY want to write here. For us.
Here's why you want me in your life. Because when we get together for meetings and so forth, I will not judge your bad food habits. You want that bag of Flamin Hot Cheetos? Honey, rip open that bag and GO FOR IT. I'll even allow you to lick the fake cheese off your fingers and will look the other way if some of it ends up on your nose.
On the other hand, I might judge you for your good food habits. But only a little.
See there? You want me. I know that you want me.
P.S. Is your name really "Fill-in-the-blank?"