So I've been car-less for lo these many days because my car started doing this shuddering thing when I drove it home from a wedding reception over a week ago. It's been sitting in front of our house ever since--a beached whale--because I couldn't get in touch with our mechanic who apparently thought it was New Year's or something last week.
ANYHOO. We finally connected and my mechanic told me to bring the beached whale in this morning. Which Ken Cannon and I did. Only on our way back from that mechanic, Ken Cannon's fancypants German car gave up the ghost, so we had to get that car to the other mechanic who specializes in fancypants German cars, which (I deeply wish at this point) had never been invented.
So. This means Ken Cannon and I are car-less now. Son #1 had to pick us up and deposit us at our various old people daycare locations. Meanwhile I called Son #2 to see if he could take me to work this afternoon. He said he would if I gave him a lot of fries.
I was curious about this quid pro quo proposal. Because in addition to SPEAKING LATIN I also speak fries. Honey. Tell me you want some fries and I AM ON IT. I know all the best places in town to get fries, including Mazza, that Belgian waffle place downtown with the name I can't remember at the moment, and also at the Olympus Hills Bowling Alley.
Still. I was surprised Son #2 requested fries. It seemed like an odd request, given the context and given the fact that I can't drive him anywhere to buy them, because I am car-less in addition to fry-less.
But I said, yes. I'll buy you as many fries as you want if you take me to work.
Why was I talking about fries, he wondered.
And then it occurred to me that maybe I didn't hear him right, because I am old and also I was wearing my Rocky the Flying Squirrel hat with the ear flaps that I got for Christmas, thus rendering me hearing-less, in addition to car-less and fry-less.
I was right. Son #2 didn't say he'd drive me for a million "fries." He said he'd drive me because over the years I've given him a million "rides."
You see how easily a misunderstanding like this can happen, right? Fries and rides have the same vowel sounds. And also. The hat.