A pregnant friend recently lost a baby at the 6-month mark. It's been devastating for her and for her husband both, and her experience has caused me to revisit the loss of our two sons--one at five months, the other at six.
I was glad to see that there's currently more of an effort on the hospital's part to treat this kind of a loss as a birth and a death, because when you're pregnant--especially when you're that pregnant--you want more than anything for people to acknowledge that this was a child. This was your child. This was your child who you made room for in your life. And when that child is gone before others have had a chance to see him and call him by name and say that he looks like your husband's side of the family, you feel that loss in a special kind of way. Because to others that baby wasn't particularly real. Not yet anyway.
But to you he was as real as the heat of sun on your face.