Hopefully you found that title as intriguing as I did as I was going through that box of crap TRQ unloaded here a few weeks ago. You know. The one was my old diaries and stuff.
Well. I found notes from Jr. High Health Class in one of the folders, including a piece of notebook paper labeled "Alcohol and Cats." Here's what I wrote:
"A doctor experimented on 13 cats with the use of alcohol. Cats forgot tricks they lad learned when under the influence of alcohol. Cats forgot fear when under the influence of alcohol."
At the time I'm sure I wrote all of that down a) with a straight face and b) without asking any questions. But now, of course, my face is not straight AND I have a lot of questions, which include--
1. What kind of a doctor was this anyway? What kind of doctor gets cats drunk?
2. Where did the doctor find those thirteen cats? Did he scribble "For a good time call Dr. Feel Good" on the doors of cat bathroom stalls?
3. What kind of tricks did those cats forget?
4. And, as my sentence indicates, did those cats learn those tricks while under the influence of alcohol in the first place?
5. Also, what kind of alcohol were those cats consuming? Did they consume that alcohol all nibbly-bibbly out of a saucer?
6. When cats forget their fear how do they act? Do they put Ever Ready batteries on their cat shoulders and dare dogs to knock them off?
If you know the answers to these questions, please contact me. Meanwhile, here's a picture of my cat in the garden this morning. He hasn't been drinking. As far as I know.