Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A step-by-step guide to telling a white lie

1.  Make arrangements to meet your friend Lisa B. for breakfast at Bambara's because both of you are in the mood for the fancy.

2.  Wake up and realize that TODAY! IS! THE! DAY!

3.  Use a lot of exclamations points.

4.  Get ready and head on downtown.

5.  Park on the street and tell people walking by that you hate SLC's meter system and that secretly you're glad, glad, glad that the city has lost a lot of money on them because YOU TOLD THEM SO.

6.  Except, of course, that now we're stuck with them.

7.  Hustle into Bambara and get a table for two.

8.  Sit there and talk to your waiter for awhile who tells you he likes your sweater with the seahorses on it because seahorses are awesome BECAUSE the dads have all the babies.

9.  Take a look at your phone and see Lisa B's text apologizing for being late because she overshot Market Street.

10.  Wait.  Market Street?

11.  WE WERE GOING TO ENJOY THE FANCY AT MARKET STREET AND NOT BAMBARA?

12.  ANSWER:  Yes.

13.  Quick.  You gotta get outta "Dodge," aka "Bambara."

14.  Now comes the white lie part.

15.  Tell your server you just received a text from your girlfriend who can't come because there's been an emergency.

16.  Under no circumstances mention that the emergency is that her friend (you) is an idiot.

And that, my friends, is how it's done.  You're welcome.

4 comments:

jake&annmarie said...

White lies are OK? OK then, I liked your post and you are funny.

jake&annmarie said...

That comes off a little sassier than I intended. And for the record, AnnMarie and I both laughed our way through the post.

Lisa B. said...

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! sea horse dads have the babies!?

(also, you might have mentioned that my text said I "ivershot" Market street--because I was texting at (a) a red light and (b) without my glasses.)

radagast said...

I would like to have been a fly on the wall, during that breakfast conversation. Course, those places are too posh to allow flies. Still. BREAKFAST! WITH LISA B. AND ANN C.!