Saturday, June 27, 2015

Well, yes, I am in the house again

It's been an intense few weeks.  First there was getting ready for WIFYR.  Then there was WIFYR.  And then there was the Edwards Family Beach Week.  And now there's re-entry into my normal life.

Beach Week, as always, was terrific.  And occasionally fraught.  But terrific.  And occasionally fraught.  You can't get that many family members under one roof and not have those "moments"--the ones that require you to apologize to someone later.

In my case I needed to apologize to TRQ for getting sharpish with her in front of several of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I felt terrible as soon as I snapped at her.  Still do, in fact, although she was very gracious and kinder to me than I deserved right then.

I've been trying to understand what happened and here's what I think was going on.  TRQ and I were both playing the role of Uber-Mother, running around the room taking everyone's emotional temperature.  And that, my friends, can be exhausting.  By the end of the week, we were both REALLY tired.  And when that kind of tired happens?  Words.

I was texting all of this to Lisa B. while Ken Cannon and I were driving home yesterday, saying I'M SUCH AN IDIOT and NO ONE ASKED ME TO TAKE THEIR EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE and WHY DID I SET MYSELF UP?  And she very calmly reminded me that in our culture women are asked to and expected to do all kinds of care-taking.   She's right.  And I appreciated her pointing this out to me.

But now I'm home.  And there were strange visiting gnomes on our porch when we returned.  So it's all home sweet gnome.  And when next summer comes,  hopefully I'll be at the beach again.  Like my brother Jimmy says, "We keep on going back."

Like the swallows.


Megan Goates said...

I keep envisioning you and your grandchildren sitting down to watch "Gnomeo and Juliet." It's a must see, for a person with your history and Facebook wall.

Lisa B. said...

Girl, it's just not a family vacation without a little meltdown. I hope you're letting go of all of this, because you are really the best daughter, mom, sister ever. Truly. It's something I admire about you. xo

James said...

Great times! A family reunion is like a NATO sleep over. All these different countries/families have their own cultures (American, French, British, etc) with one common goal (e.g. Keep the Russians from world domination, or just have fun at the beach). Even with the similar goal, there is bound to be a little heated disagreement over what type of cheese will be served at the NATO dinner, Brie, Provolone, or cheddar, anything but Circassian (Russian) cheese. Circassian cheese doesn't even melt. Meltdowns, or not, at the end of the day, everyone is glad they came. Pass the provolone.

CSIowa said...

This year we are doing not one but two weeks at the beach with my husband's family. I am beginning to get a little nervous about it, even though it is still more than a month away. There is a voice in my head preparing me already by chanting, "Do NOT be snotty to people at the beach. Do NOT be snotty to people at the beach."

Donna Tagliaferri said...

I am so sorry for the blip of unhappiness. I know you felt badly, love your mom for not adding to the feeling.....but lean, and I mean lean on the atonement for that feeling of regret to go away. And then forgive yourself. I had a terrible thing happen. Something I wouldn't have recovered from easily (a business thing) the Lord swooped in and repaired it beautifully, but I couldn't stop thinking how close I came to disaster. I wallowed in was awful, I kept saying, thank you so much thank you so much...then I heard in my head as clear as can be..."forgive yourself, forget it, move on with your life, I already paid the price for this." I actually have placed the incident out of my memory, but never the impression I received that day