My own personal happiness project

I've recently realized that my default emotional setting is sadness.  It's the place my brain seems to go when my brain is looking for some place to be.  This hasn't always been true of me, but it's certainly been true the past few years.

There are lots of reasons for this.  Our family's mental health challenges weigh heavily on me at times.  And then there's always change.  I've never been very good at accepting it--stupid, I know--but it's grown harder with age because so many of the things I've loved are no longer a part of my life.

But here's the thing.  I don't want to go through the rest of my years feeling sad.  It seems like a betrayal of Life (cue "Fiddler on the Roof" music) somehow.  Not that you should always be happy!  perky!  whatever!  That's just crazypants and also super annoying.

But this world--my world--is full of so much MUCH!  And to shortchange that because I'm dwelling in a sad place out of habit just seems wrong.  So my little project for the next day or two is to make lists of the things I can enjoy as a reminder to myself.

This will be fun.