Early this morning I went to Smiths with the intention of stocking up on pet food (for the pets) and snacks (for the humans) in preparation for some upcoming travels. So yeah. I had bags of cat food, dog food, pistachios, Twix bars, licorice and M and Ms in my cart. Also I had a STAR magazine to find out if Kris Kardashian really did sleep with her son-in-law because WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also, there was a gnome in my cart. Because it was on sale.
As the clerk checked me out, I started looking at myself through her eyes, so I said, "Do you ever wonder what the hell is going on with people?"
She said no. She was the very soul of discretion.
But, the people, she was lying.