Tuesday, November 29, 2011

How to Depress Yourself

. . . in case you need lessons.

Ken broke out the home movies over the weekend, and here's the thing I noticed most this time around: how badly I've dressed over the years. Of course we always think that about ourselves--look at the hair! look at those shoes!--but at least most of you can take comfort in the fact that everyone else looked the same way and that even though it was the 80's, you were actually pretty cute.

The same cannot be said about me. The unvarnished truth is that at best I was indifferently dressed. At worst, I was aggressively appalling. Part of it, I realized, is that I've always felt HUGE--like a Winnebago in an parking lot full of Mini Coopers. And my response to that was to dress myself in tents--big flow-y flappy shirts and jumpers--apparently in the hopes of camouflaging myself. Also, apparently I was color blind.

But looking back I realize I was never as big as I thought I was. And even if I had been, fitted (nay, even STRETCHY) clothes, would have looked so, so mUCH better than the camping gear I called clothing.

Watching the last 15 minutes of the first SEX AND THE CITY movie on TV yesterday while recovering from eye surgery didn't help. Why didn't I get that gene that made me want to wear expensive shoes and birds on my head, she laments. My mom had it in spades. Did she hog the shoe gene and not leave any of it for me?


Lisa B. said...

(a) I find it fascinating how people view themselves. You think of yourself as huge (so do I), whereas I have always thought of you as willowy. (Maybe that's because I'm huge?)

(b) re expensive shoes and birds on your head: it is NEVER too late. Take courage! buy something fabulous!

Emily said...

I'm with you on the clothes. I've only recently cared a little about what clothes I wear and adding a little femininity is nice. Although I'm not sure about bird hats.

I'm hoping to pass on to my daughters a mix of practical with a little fashion flare.

I'm with Lisa. You should treat yourself to some outrageous fashion accessory.

Alyosha said...

I can totally relate to this. I'm often surprised to see pictures of a younger me and think, "Man, I was HOT!" but at the time I always ALWAYS felt fat. I feel fat now, but in ten years I'm sure I'll see pictures of me and think I was hot. Why am I never currently happy with the way I currently look?

Also, I have always thought you are beautiful, youthful, and a good dresser, so it surprised me to hear how you sometimes view yourself. Isn't hat always the way?

James said...

I know others view you differently than you just described yourself. That is probably true of us all, and its not just limited to looks. It applies to all subjective thinking. I am sure writers feel that what they are currentlyworking on sucks, but ten years later, they will read it and think that it is actually pretty good.

Now that you know you are no Winnebago, can I borrow a couple of your old tents?

Louise Plummer said...

Oh Anne, it's time to go to Nordstroms and buy a pair of Ferragamos.

This made me laugh on a morning when I didn't feel much like laughing. A gift only you can give.

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