Saturday, May 28, 2011

(Wind) breaking news!

So I'm here at a convention with Ken where a) there's wi-fi! yay! and b) the average attendee's age is older. I'm not being age-ist here. This bit of information is important for the story I'm about to tell.

There's a woman sitting in front of me with her husband who just bent over to pick up her purse. When she did, the people, she broke wind. MASSIVE, wall-shaking, earth-rumbling, legendary, homerically epic wind. Which okay. That right there was noticeable and also amazing.

But here's the most amazing thing. She appeared not to notice. At all! Neither did her husband. They just . . . carried on, leaving me and my nephew Chris (he's sitting next to me) in awe. Also, slightly in fear because we are directly downwind.

Thank you for listening.

10 comments:

Lisa B. said...

I am apparently a teenage boy, because this made me laugh...and laugh and laugh. Thank you.

Mystery Girl said...

Oh Ann I'd love to see a column come out of this but there's no way:-) I suggest you visit the shops at lunchtime and get one of those small battery powered fans. And Lisa, I apparently have teenage boy DNA as well:-)

SWILUA said...

Yeah, that lady sounds like me. Sorry about that world.

Amelia said...

Ha ha and also hee hee!

Erin said...

Love it. So funny. It reminded me of when a student would fart and then either try to look completely innocent or try and blame someone else.

Randi said...

Haha. This reminded me of Ronda who I used to teach with, and when she farted at the apple store. Ronda, what a loon.

Andria said...

My mom always complains about her mom passing gas as she walks down the aisles of a store, and not acknowledging that she's done it. No, "excuse me" or anything. Maybe the lady sitting in front of you was my grandma!

James said...

To air is human,to blog for us afterwards is divine. Reminds me of a certain lady on my mission who kept loudly farting during our presentation of the first vision. No one at the MTC really prepared us on how to handle that one.

wjmom said...

My mother-in-law. It MUST have been my mother-in-law. Still laughing at my house.

Donna said...

I have always wondered, what is the right thing to say? I mean is there some decibel you have to reach before you have to apologize? A little toot as opposed to earth shattering wind breaking?
Just wondering