I am not a food and/or restaurant snob. I want to establish this fact right upfront.
Is this fact established?
It is? Good! Then I'll proceed.
A few weeks ago I was given a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory for a presentation I did, so Ken Cannon and I decided to meet for lunch at the City Creek location on our anniversary last week. Which we did. We stole away in the middle of the day to the Cheesecake Factory like a couple of crazy teenagers in love. Except with really bad knees. You know. Like the knees old people who've been married for over 40 years have.
Anyway. I've eaten at TCF before, but not when I've been borderline depressed like I am right now. When we arrived I was suddenly overwhelmed by the HUGENESS of it all. The Cheesecake Factory is like the Caesar Palace of chain restaurants (I may have stolen this comparison from Lisa B, so if I did, thanks for that, Lisa B!). High ceilings! Columns! Crowds of people ready to cheer on their favorite gladiator while eating some Roadside Sliders! Also, the menu is longer than my graduate thesis on the short stories of Katherine Anne Porter was--I have spent a lifetime underwriting everything, yo--so it takes a lot of determination to plow through your dining options at TCF.
In the end Ken Cannon ordered a hamburger and I ate half of it because I couldn't decide what to get for myself, which is also a function of being borderline depressed (don't worry--I always get better). I did enjoy the red velvet cheesecake A LOT, however, although red velvet anything is often disappointing.
So there it is. What we did for our anniversary. Meanwhile, I think I'll check out restaurants that cater to borderline depressed people for now. Suggestions appreciated!
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3 comments:
When my daughter's violin teacher was building a house, playing in the symphony, teaching a studio full of violin students, and rearing three children with a largely absent husband, she told her contractor, "Give me three choices." Knobs for the kitchen cabinets? Bring me three choices. No research, just simplified decision-making. I have adopted this model. If someone tries to make me choose a restaurant, I say, "Give me three choices." And then I will happily choose. So my suggestion is that you get a "contractor" who has some sense of you to narrow the field. Then, if you are overwhelmed by the gigantic portions and can't finish, they can enjoy what they helped you choose. Win, win!
My requirements for a pleasant eating-out experience:
1. Quiet
2. Bright enough to see each other
3. Not crowded
4. Servers are helpful but don't try to start a conversation
In light of these requirements, I nearly always choose small Asian restaurants, preferably not chains. Our favorite has a lady who watches you like a hawk and fills up your water pretty much every time you take a sip. She also puts extra tofu in the soup for our three-year-old.
Come to Las Vegas. Faustos, Robertos, Tacos El Loco Burro (The crazy taco donkey?) is the cure for any depression...plus we have the real Caesar's Palace!
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