Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Things I learned about snails while driving to Wyoming with TRQ

As I've noted here before, TRQ is out to clear her land of snails.  So far she's been a) relentless and, thus, b) relatively successful.

But here's what I love about my mother.  She's taken the opportunity to learn about snails while she's busy eliminating them from the face of the planet.  Here are the Snail Facts she shared with me as we drove to Wyoming together this weekend.

1.  Snails can be found on every continent.  (So if you were planning to move to Australia to get away from snails, don't bother.)

2.  Snails can be 4 inches tall and 4 inches long.  (Who knew!  Snails can be pets!)

3.  Except that some snails bite.  (Who knew!  Snails can bite!)

4.  Snails are deaf.  (Which is why they don't come when you call them.)

5. They can, however, see.  (Who knew!  Snails have eyeballs!)

6.  Snails are asexual.  (It's always weird to hear your mother talk about sex.  Even if she's only talking about snail sex.)

7.  Snails can live in the sea.  (Hence, proving that the Sponge Bob cartoon series is scientifically accurate.)

See?  Don't you feel smarter already?


Donna Tagliaferri said...

I do feel smarter. Thank you. But I am only "snail smart"

Blue said...

this weekend i flew to hawaii cause my sister's son was getting baptized, and, well, they live there. so that's the ONLY reason i went. the baptism.

so saturday after the blessed event was done, it was time for the big football game in their town: Kahuku High School is in their back yard, and it was homecoming weekend and the kahukians are nothing if not supportive of their football team. tailgating commenced.

while we were setting up a big tent in my sister's yard, i noticed these ginormous snails...like the kind people actually KEEP AS PETS. weird people, but maybe they receive a certain kind of joy from snailwatching. or something. anyway, they were strangely beautiful, with their fancy shells--like the kind of shell you'd totally feel like "SCORE" if you found at the beach.

these snails were all cozied up though...and then i noticed THESE THINGS, these long white flexible tube things, sticking from each one into the other. and then i had to shield my nephew's tender eyes because, SNAIL SEX!

i actually made a video of them going at it, but erased it cause i didn't want anyone to think i was a perv.

the above story is 100% true and unembellished. I'm a little ashamed to admit this.

Paige said...

They don't come when you call them! hehe
What does TRQ think of the accuracy of Turbo? (the cartoon about snails. Some like-minded person must have written the script.)

sadie said...

Oh that I could have been a fly on the wall for that road trip.

Bonnie White said...

Ann when we lived in Washington many years ago, a big blog startled me on my window. Upon closer examination I noticed it was those asexual slugs having a go at in. No back seat of a car for those two. With only the window separating me from their exotic ritual, I spent a fascinated hour watching them twist and turn and blow bubbles and then eat it. Nothing like what they did is in the Kuma Sutra. I didn't notice anyone smoking a cigarette afterwards as they slithered off my window and back into the rhododendroms.

Bonnie White said...

Oh that should be blob not blog.