Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Some thoughts on New Year's Eve

Early in December I had a (TMI warning!!!!) breast infection that my fabulous doctor said was probably just--you know--a breast infection.  However!  There's an extremely aggressive form of breast cancer that manifests with the same symptoms, and so we needed to keep an eye on said breast.  So I did.  I kept an eye on that breast ALL MONTH LONG, which is why I now have a monster kink in my neck.

But whatevs.

Anyway, the infection appeared to clear up with antibiotics.  However, the symptoms reappeared this week, so Fabulous Doctor Mine got me in for a mammogram and ultrasound today.

It was interesting to sit there in my little mammogram gown, waiting for my exam while wondering if  everything about my life was about to change.  I realized then that I've been more concerned about the breast situation than I'd allowed myself to acknowledge--and that, in fact, my concern had (in certain ways) shaped the nature of this past Christmas season.  During the month of December 2014 I was equal parts melancholy, nostalgic and deeply grateful for all the small sweet things that are a part of my daily life.

Now for the good news.  Everything came back clean.  I'M CLEAN!  I'M CLEAN!  So that's excellent news to start off a new year, right?

Still, I want to hang onto that sense that life is, indeed, fragile--and its very fragility makes our experiences all the more sacred.

5 comments:

shelley said...

My word, I'm so glad its not cancer! I got teary-eyed before I got to the end of your blog post!

Amelia said...

I'm glad for your good news... I truly am. Here's to a blessed 2015!!

analyn said...

Love your last sentence. So true. Hope 2015 is a great one for you!

Megan said...

Life IS fragile. Realizing this makes it sweeter.

Knowing you makes my life sweeter.

Lisa B. said...

Darling Ann. I'm so relieved to hear this, even though I only had the space of a few paragraphs to feel the anxiousness that you've been living with for a month. So relieved. Let's agree to stick around for longer and go to lunch as old ladies, etc., as we have heretofore stipulated in our friendship contract. Brooches, too much rouge, fancy hats (maybe). Old ladies at lunch. xo Happy New year!