I bought a gnome with a Rudolph nose and antlers.
It was just standing there on top of the ice cream freezer, calling my name, saying, "I know it's not Christmas yet. And I know that I'm not even officially on sale yet, which is why I and my antlers are standing on top of the ice cream freezer where nobody can reach us. BUT. I should go home with you and take my place amongst the many gnomes who reside in your yard."
So I made Tim from the pharmacy get the gnome down for me and when I held it in my arms like a toddler--a cute one with antlers and a Rudolph nose--I discovered a button.
A button on its feet. So I pushed the button and the nose and other body parts (appropriate ones) LIT UP. So then I walked through the store and the parking lot with a gnome with flashing body parts, cradled in my arms like a grandchild. You could almost see people feel sorry for me. And sorrier for my family.
But I feel fulfilled right now.