That my dad isn't coaching anymore.
Honestly, I'm surprised by how CRAPPY I feel after BYU loses, even though I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE. A loss just triggers all these memories of being afraid to turn on the radio to hear what people were saying or avoiding the newspapers to read what people were writing or going to Spanish class on Monday morning where Señor Jarman would talk about the loss like it was MY fault.
Dude! I wasn't the coach!
Or as I would have said to Señor Jarman back in the dia, "Hombre! Yo not soy el football coach!"