Friday, February 28, 2014

As if there weren't enough things to worry about in this world

This morning on our walk, we talked about that eleven year-old girl who shot a mountain lion because that mountain lion was chasing her brother.

Okay.  First.  That brother is lucky his sister liked him enough to take care of business.

And now second and more to the point.  Sometimes I worry about how you're supposed to behave when confronted by various animals that want to eat you.  Specifically, I worry about which animals you're supposed to make eye contact with and which animals you aren't.

For instance, I think you're supposed to get into staring contests with bears and mountain lions.  Looking at them is like saying, Dude.  Don't mess.  IMA GONNA GET YOU.  And then those mountain lions and bears tuck their tails between their hairy legs and scamper off to find their mamas.

Not that bears have tails.

On the other hand, there are animals with whom you are definitely NOT supposed to go ojo a ojo with, because it's seen as a sign of aggression.  Dogs are this way.  So are monkeys.  Or so I've heard.
But what it I forget that piece of 411 when I see a monkey coming my way.  What if I accidentally look at a monkey and then it rips my face off?  You know.  Right there on South Temple Street.

Some days I do nothing but sit on the front porch and worry about Eye Contact in the Animal Kingdom all day long.  Life is just so damn complicated.

1 comment:

Kamp Kyburz said...

Love your writing! Because my husband is a Yellowstone National Park Ranger, I must comment that you should never (NEVER!) make eye contact with a bear. They perceive it as an act of aggression and bears are pretty much all about being aggressive right back atcha! :)