Thursday, March 3, 2011

The scent of a woman

This morning I was in a gift shop that had these tiny little roll-on perfumes. They kinda looked like mini-deodorants, but they were from FRANCE, so of course they were way cooler than mini-deodorants. I decided to try on the "verbena" scent and gave myself a pretty thorough going over with the tester right there in the middle of the store. (Which reminds me, actually, of the time my little brother basically poured a bottle of Aqua Velva all over himself before going to a school dance. He was so potent we made him sleep in the back yard for a few months until the scent wore off.)

Anyhoo! I walked out of the gift shop smelling like a bottle of Lemon Pledge, and I was all really? Listen here, Fancypants Verbena Solid Perfume Stick! I don't care if you're from France. Who thought this fragrance was a good idea for human beings? Like, is any man out there gonna say, "My lady, she is so sexy. Girlfriend smells just like a newly polished piano."

I don't think so.

And now please excuse me while I go camp out in the backyard for the next few months.

8 comments:

Andria said...

"Like, is any man out there gonna say, 'My lady, she is so sexy. Girlfriend smells just like a newly polished piano.'"

Oh, Ann, thanks for the laugh!

BBB said...

LOL. Almost everything French seems sexy and a good idea. But usually when the French have a bad idea, it's a REALLY bad idea. No inbetween there - Sexy-hot-wonderful, or stinky (literally). :)

shelley said...

ALL perfume is a bad idea. Is it ever subtle?

Lisa B. said...

ahaahahahahahahahahahHA! ditto. I bought a fancy bottle of verbena something or other on the Island of Catalina. And I was thinking it was like in my youth, when I loved Love Fresh Lemon, which I still do with all my heart and soul. But really, it was all about furniture polish. NOT GOOD, people. Also: WHY.

CSIowa said...

I'm okay if you want to smell like verbena (far away from me!), but please don't put Pledge on your piano. It isn't actually furniture.

Mystery Girl said...

Ann, thanks for making me laugh - out loud!

Becca said...

On the plus side, the lemon scent will keep the mosquitos away, like one of those candle things you're supposed to burn at a picnic (but not too close to the food - I wonder why that is?)

thesixthseason said...

Once upon a childhood when wandering the aisles of Woolworth's Five and Dime was a favorite pastime, I fell in love with two fragrances: Evening in Paris AND Blue Waltz Parfum, moi tres, tres favorite! The greatest joy, as I remember it, was that my 25-cent allowance could purchase a bottle. But after a couple of bottles, Mom cut off my allowance.

Thanks for the laughs and the memories!