I love it when it's 3:00 in the morning and I can't sleep, even though I have a big presentation this afternoon for which I'll need my wits about me . . . I think I'm just feeling bad about BYU losing to Florida in OT. I KNOW. STUPID. I didn't realize I care this much.
MEMO TO SELF: IT'S ONLY A FREAKING GAME. STOP CARING.
There. I'm sure that will take care of things!
Meanwhile I've been listing metaphors (also similes!) about what losing feels like. Losing feels like a bruise, a punch in the nose, a stubbed toe. It's the humiliating realization that you're the only kid in the class who wasn't invited to a birthday party, the only girl in your group who isn't going to a dance. It's the letter from an admission office that says you weren't accepted. It's the morning after evening when you talked too much and said way more than you should have.
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6 comments:
Being the last one to get out in dodge ball so team loses. Ouch.
Losing is hitting the second parked car in a year. There goes the new-couch-money.
Its like remembering that you forgot to tell that "awesome" joke in your talk right after you sit down.
Its like choosing not to go to SLC to drive your grandpa's tractor and then finding out that would have been the last time you would get to drive it.
Its like a sip of flat, warm Dr. P.
Its probably like having flatworms
Las Vegas in July...well actually, that's Hell, but its kind of the same thing.
A seventeen year-old-kid on a pogo stick. Oh, and he falls off.
"Losing is a disease...
...as contagious as polio.
Losing is a disease...
...as contagious as syphilis . . .
Losing is a disease...
...as contagious as bubonic plague... attacking one... but infecting all.
But curable."
~ from THE NATURAL
the feeling from a profound loss never goes away. I remember sitting on the side of my bed having my mother comfort me through my sobs...that's right SOBS...when my Oilers lost to those damnable Buffalo Bills after being ahead 31-3 at half time. I was 9 months pregnant...I had Emma 2 days later...that was 18 years ago....none of us recovered. Not me, not the team, not any fan, and not the chair that I threw against the wall. My son thought it was funny to find a recording of the end of that game...he played it for me...surprise! He hasn't recovered from that prank, nor did the cd he played it from.
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