For years I've wanted to be on Jeopardy. Not just be on Jeopardy. DOMINATE on Jeopardy. I want to be the Ultimate Jeopardy Cage Fighter. And I've always thought I had a decent shot at it because whenever I watch Jeopardy at home, I bust out my cage fighter moves and answer almost every question except for the mixed drinks part, because what can you expect from a girl who's favorite alcoholic beverage is NyQuil?
Anyway. Dylan sent me a link for an online tryout this week, so I registered and logged in and WENT FOR IT on Wednesday night. But before I went for it, I (this is the truth) drank some fluids and rubbed a little Ben Gay on my calves because Ben Gay is the fragrance of champions. I thought it would inspire me.
Soooooo. The test started. I had to answer 50 questions, and I only had 15 seconds per questions. 15 seconds feels like a long time when you're waiting for the microwave to melt you some butter, but it's a really SHORT time when suddenly you're being asked to name (and type!) various bodies of water located on our planet. Also, I was having a hard time reading the screen because my eyes were watering from all the Ben Gay.
Long story short, I don't think I did very well. Which is why from now on I'll just allow certain cherished fantasies to remain cherished fantasies.