Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Oh how I wish

I could complain about airplane food.

Remember the good old days when we could all complain about airplane food? But now we can't. Because they don't feed you on airplanes anymore. Not even on a 4 1/2 hour trip across the country at dinner time. Which I know from personal experience because we just flew back from D.C. last night. I spent most of the trip fantasizing about the days when flight attendants brought you a little tray with a stone cold hard roll, a dish of lasagne so hot it invariably burned the roof of your mouth, a joyless little salad with some ranch dressing on the side, and a brownie. You could also get Ginger Ale if you wanted to.

Anyway. A meal like that gave you something to do for at least an hour of your journey. For twenty minutes you anticipated the moment when the attendants rolled their cart by your seat and served you dinner. For twenty minutes you ate that dinner. And then for twenty minutes after you bitched about how awful that dinner was. And then you only had 3 1/2 hours left on your endless, endless trip back from D. C. to Salt Lake.

Did I also mention there was no movie on board last night either? Or television? Or music for our listening pleasure?

When it comes to the flying, the Glory Days is Gone.

9 comments:

Lisa B. said...

You are absolutely right. In fact, the only possibly positive thing I can say about transatlantic flight is that they (1) do give you food, (2) generally are a little more solicitous of you, the paying passenger, and (c) there are sometimes movies. Like that one flight when I dashed--literally, it was not pretty--through Heathrow to be the very last passenger on before they closed the doors, and I got to have a flight with like five passable movies playing in a back-of-the-seat-in-front-of-you screen, uncut!--which allowed me to watch The Departed like four full times. I had already seen it more than once in the theatre, by the way. On the flight, however, I watched it one time all the way through. Then I decided I didn't need to watch a movie--I needed to sleep. Four point five minutes later, when I couldn't sleep, I turned the movies back on and watched about 45 minutes of The Guardian, that silly movie with Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher, after which I switched around on the channels and discovered that hey! The Departed was still on, and it was at a good part! So I'd watch for awhile, then switch it back to Costner/Kutcher, or some other whatever was on. This way, I managed to eke out approximately four full viewings of The Departed, one of my favorite movies ever. On the other hand, I was flying across an ocean. On the other other hand, they gave us food and movies. On the third hand, there's that whole deep-vein thrombosis deal you now have to worry about on long flights. Talk about your glory days being over.

p.s. glad you're back and hope your veins are thrombosis free.

Amy said...

*sigh* I didn't even get a bag of pretzels on my last flight. Tragic right?

LucindaF said...

I'm doing the happy dance that you're home. la la la la*la la la la

lame non-servers-of-crappy-food-and-technology-daft-airline

That is a long dang time to play, 'I spy with my little eye.'

Sara Z. said...

At least you lived! That's all that matters to me.

Kerry said...

too bad we don't drink, right? that would help pass the time.

Louise Plummer said...

Deep vein thrombosis. Oh gosh, another thing to worry about. Will an aspirin take care of it?

candace said...

have you heard of the iPad? it doesn't feed you (yet)...but it certainly replaces all other forms of entertainment!

Mystery Girl said...

Ann

The SLC on your ticket actually stands for Self Loading Cargo...

Donna said...

A man got on the plane at JFK with a bag filled with something ethnic. Really, really ethnic...like cooked eyeballs, or cabbage gone bad...something ghastly. He sat right behind us....and farted for 4 hours. When we landed we didn't have the strength to even stand up.


I would like to get on a plane now with a pizza box.

Life as we knew it is over.