Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Another column that I won't write . . .

. . . mostly because I can't in good conscience write another one about my broken wrist. BUT! Went to physical therapy yesterday and had this experience. The pt looked at my scar and said we needed to loosen it up, so she went, "John! Get me THE EXTRACTOR!"

Doesn't "extractor" sound like a scary word to you?

And suddenly my darling pt looked like Chloris Leachman in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN and John looked like Igor dragging his knuckles across the floor, off to find body parts and extractors.

The extractor was a large syringe used for sucking-up-scar purposes. It hurt. It hurt so much I had to eat a lot of pasta and some garlic bread at Heaps Brick Oven in Provo yesterday to get over it.

7 comments:

Kerry said...

isn't physical therapy a trip? My new PT makes me do pool therapy with all the 80 yo's. It's sort of a blast. Except the swimsuit part, but it's not so bad when most of the other people are 80, only none of them have Huntsman-spectacular-rear ends the way I do, so that's a little uncomfortable still.

shelley said...

Ick. I'm so sorry!

Emma said...

Ouch! That sounds awful. I hope you don't have to do that again.

Lisa B. said...

Oh. my. gosh.

That sounds like somebody made it up for a David Cronenburg movie. God. I'm surprised that pasta and garlic bread had any effect whatsoever. What about the scary dreams where you relive it all? What about that?

Jayne said...

I thought it was a perfectly lovely scar.
I feel kind of ampti this evening (it's the verification word, they seem almost real sometimes)

LucindaF said...

Ooh, I don't like this at all. Extractor sounds as bad as Stirrups. Nothing good can come of these medical terms.

Boy, water-boarding and now Extractor Torture. You might as well take a camera to North Korea. Why not? You can take whatever they dish out.

Bob the Woodworker said...

Don't we call part of the Church's genealogical program "Extraction"? Is there some connection between the PT extractor and the genealogical extractor? Heaps tends to soothe one's being, so I'm glad you were able to visit the old Provo haunt.