Another column that I won't write . . .

. . . mostly because I can't in good conscience write another one about my broken wrist. BUT! Went to physical therapy yesterday and had this experience. The pt looked at my scar and said we needed to loosen it up, so she went, "John! Get me THE EXTRACTOR!"

Doesn't "extractor" sound like a scary word to you?

And suddenly my darling pt looked like Chloris Leachman in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN and John looked like Igor dragging his knuckles across the floor, off to find body parts and extractors.

The extractor was a large syringe used for sucking-up-scar purposes. It hurt. It hurt so much I had to eat a lot of pasta and some garlic bread at Heaps Brick Oven in Provo yesterday to get over it.

Reports

Book reports: while on the beach I read three-and-a-half books. THE LIGHTHOUSE by the luminous P. D. james, SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS by the bubbly, prolific Madeleine Wickahm, DISSOLUTION by the thorough and humane C. J. Sansom, and half of THE TOURIST by Olen Steinhauer. As you can see I'm mostly into mysteries. ANYWAY. One word reviews because OKAY I'm still writing with one hand and I tire easily.

THE LIGHT HOUSE: Deeply satisfying (sorry--2 words!)
DISSOLUTION: Surprisingly sad (see above)
SLEEPING ARRANGMENTS: Light and accomplished (3 words)
THE TOURIST: More Ludlam than LeCarre but still enjoyable in a paranoid kind of way (lost count)

Food report: I ate the best steak salad in the history of the world at the ESPN Zone in Disney Shopping Land. AMAZING. I may never eat anything I'll enjoy more.