That which should be banned . . .

Here's the list.  I tried to include everybody's remarks.  If I missed you, I AM SO SORRY.   You can add me to the list of things that should be banned.

Thanks for your suggestions!

Attention my blog friends! I'm crowdsourcing YOU!

Next week is Banned Books Week.

I thought about doing a Trib column on banned books, but then I realized that as much as I hate some books, I don't want any of them to be banned.  So Marg at the bookstore came up with this awesome idea: write a column about stuff I want to ban--like two-year long presidential election cycles, for example.

Any ideas about what we should ban?

I will disclose that the column has been crowdsourced although I won't identify individuals.

I would LOVE your help.  And I will probably write the column on Sunday night, so there's that.

Thanks!

What not to wear

Oh, fashion disasters!  What would I do without you?  You always give me something to write about.

Thank you, fashion disasters!

On our walk this morning

First thing.  A young man approached us in the dark and asked where the methadone clinic is.  Couldn't help him.  But I will say I looked at that kid and thought there but for the grace of God.  Some journeys are full of heartbreak.

Second thing.  We saw a car with a sign on the rear bumper that said "_________ your badge."  Talk about putting a bullseye on your back.  But our question was this:  does the owner of the car even know that the sign is there?  It looked kind of slapdash.

And suddenly I was off with this as a premise for a story.  

Also, I checked the back of my car as soon as we got home.

Things I learned about snails while driving to Wyoming with TRQ

As I've noted here before, TRQ is out to clear her land of snails.  So far she's been a) relentless and, thus, b) relatively successful.

But here's what I love about my mother.  She's taken the opportunity to learn about snails while she's busy eliminating them from the face of the planet.  Here are the Snail Facts she shared with me as we drove to Wyoming together this weekend.

1.  Snails can be found on every continent.  (So if you were planning to move to Australia to get away from snails, don't bother.)

2.  Snails can be 4 inches tall and 4 inches long.  (Who knew!  Snails can be pets!)

3.  Except that some snails bite.  (Who knew!  Snails can bite!)

4.  Snails are deaf.  (Which is why they don't come when you call them.)

5. They can, however, see.  (Who knew!  Snails have eyeballs!)

6.  Snails are asexual.  (It's always weird to hear your mother talk about sex.  Even if she's only talking about snail sex.)

7.  Snails can live in the sea.  (Hence, proving that the Sponge Bob cartoon series is scientifically accurate.)

See?  Don't you feel smarter already?

Previous lives . . . of which I've had many

I think I did a version of this as a piece for the memoir book la Louise and I have been working on.  It was fun to write.

Here you go!

And finally she did it

TRQ, the Coach and I are in Wyoming, visiting TRQ's relation Ava, who's 97 now and living in a nursing home--which is hard for her.  She's always valued her independence.

Anyway.  I've always loved Ava's joie de vivre.  She's the one who went to Wendover for her 90th birthday (everybody gave her quarters), and she's also the one who always had a paperback romance with a bare-chested cowboy on the cover by her bedside.

Which brings me to this.  Ava has a little crush on my dad.  Her eyes light up whenever she sees him and she's always trying to wrangle a proper kiss from him--which he has managed (gracefully) to sidestep in our previous visits.

But this time she kissed him right on the lips.  And he let her.

Well done, Dad.  Well done.