I need your help

I want to write a column about stupid stuff dogs eat. Yes! I know! America is dying to read this one! Anyway, I'd appreciate any posts on the subject.

Meanwhile, I skipped buying a cupcake yesterday for the first time in many, many days. I felt kind of virtuous, actually. Like I could do self-denial or something. But then of course today I'm going there was a cupcake out there with my name on it. And I missed it. And where's the fun in that?