I have a friend who's angry with me right now because I haven't responded to her very kind, concerned texts. She accused me of "ghosting" her. Which, okay, I did. But not for the reasons she thinks. The truth is that when you're this kind of depressed, all social interactions--even with the people you love, especially with the people you love, in fact--are difficult. You don't have a lot of psychic energy for one thing. All your energy literally goes to putting one foot in front of the other. Also, you worry that you'll disappoint people because you're not the person they've come to know and love. So there's that.
This is my way of saying I'm sorry I'm not truly there for you right now. Give me a little time, and I promise I will be. I so value the people in my life.
1 comment:
Isn’t it strange I came here because I’m deeply depressed and this morning I thought about writing, which I haven’t done (written anything) for weeks because I’m in such a deep pit emotionally and creatively, but I thought of you and how I’ve read your blog off-and-on through the years and how it was a source of rich, thoughtful verse and even though you’re depressed (maybe more than I am) and also haven’t written for a while, it still feels nice to be here? And my utter despair about how I’m not doing or being what I wish I could be for my family and loved ones... and seeing this post about ghosting is strangely comforting. Now I’m going to read a few of your poems. Have a nice day, Ann.
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