Why you shouldn't post right before going to bed on the night of your birthday

Because you'll misspell the word "asparagus." You'll write down "aspergas" and know that it looks wrong somehow, so you'll go over other options in your head. You'll wonder if it's spelled "aspergus," for instance. But then you remember the guy you worked with at The King's English fifteen years ago who always said "ass-per-gas" when he talked about the vegetable, so you write down "aspergas" again and say "Yeah, that's probably right."

Then you wake us and realize you were wrong.

I don't think I'll correct it, though. Too lazy.