Now here's something I didn't see coming

When we were in Jr. high, my girlfriend Gigi Ballif and I were into astrology. We bought those little horoscope books at the Woolworth's because we were fourteen and into self-discovery. And also we were bored.

Anyhoodle! I LOVED LOVED LOVED that I was an Aries because I just thought Aires people were uber attractive--all dynamic and and FIERY and full of passion not unlike those heroines in the historical romances I was reading. I had visions of myself being all uppity with the brooding Lord of the Manor who secretly dug my spunk and so forth because don't you know I was an Aries! And that's how Aries women are. Uppity. All "dude if you get in my grill I'm gonna get in yours."

Also, I felt kinda sorry for Gigi because she was a Pisces and who wants to be a fish anyway? Furthermore, who wants to date a fish? Certainly not the Lord of the Manor. I never said this to Gigi, though, because she couldn't help that her birthday was March 4 and why mention something you can't change?

EXCEPT APPARENTLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT. I just learned that they've added a thirteenth sign to the Zodiac, which means things have gotten shifted around a big, which means I am NOW A FISH. A fish, people.

The foundations of my world have been rocked. Rocked, I tell you.