Communication

The last lucid conversation I had
With my father went like this:
I took his hand--
already so white,
already so cold--
And said thank you for
teaching me how to . . .

His eyes popped open then
And he finished my sentence.
. . . to communicate?
I laughed and said yes.
That.
Of course.

I can't remember now, three years later,
What it was I meant to say that night
With the snow falling quiet
Outside and all around.
But I'm glad I said what I did.
My father and I,
We communicated.

Blue (for Lisa)

It was a hard December this year.

Ornaments that usually wrap warmth

Around me like a quilt 

Made me cry instead--

The clay angel I made with Becky

In her kitchen while snow fell soft outside

And the radio hummed soft inside—

The enamel rocking horse ridden by three little boys 

My sister-in-law sent me

From New York the Christmas after 

We had lost a fourth—

The pipe cleaner elf sitting on a 

Tinsel chair that hung from my childhood tree

When my father, unknowing of his future,

Scrambled in the moment to create designs

For teams of teenage boys with stiff crewcuts,

Drawing x’s and o’s on a yellow pad of paper

While I sat on his lap and wondered what

This strange map meant--

At first I tried to unhear the song 

Of losses that curved through this December’s air

Around me until finally I accepted it,

Placed the notes of that song on the altar 

Of my heart and allowed it to be what it wanted,

What it needed to be.

Blue.

Be Still

Stop folding that mound of laundry

and give yourself permission 

to lie on your bed like a snow angel

for as long as it takes

to watch this evening's moon

through your window

rise slow--as slow as silver--

up from the darkening trees.

A Short Thanksgiving Prayer

Be happy in your home and children
and your people and your king
said Odysseus before continuing his journey.
So I am taking his advice
because I am happy in my grown sons
this Thanksgiving season--
in the way they sat around their mother's table
and talked and laughed in voices
that rose and fell and rose and fell
like the waves of a wine-dark sea.