Fear Factor

The first Thursday of every month I go to a nearby rest home and give a little inspirational lesson. Today I'm going to talk about "fear." Because yeah. Fear is so inspirational. Anyway, I want to share a list of things I've been afraid of at different times in my life, so lucky you! You guys get to see my rough draft!

THINGS I FEARED AS A REALLY LITTLE GIRL
--spiders
--talking to new people
--my brother and his ability to make everyone like him more than they liked me
--looking out my grandfather's VW bus and noticing the sheer drop below when we drove to his favorite Wyoming fishing hole

THINGS I FEARED IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
--coming in last place in field day events
--Mrs. Robbins (the first grade teacher)
--Mr. Baggs (the sixth grade teacher)
--spiders
--losing friends
--moving because my dad lost his job
--heights
--Ouija boards and also Satan
--my nightmares
--stories about Weeping Marys in the graveyard

THINGS I FEARED IN JR. HIGH
--not getting asked to dance
--spiders
--skiing down "the face" at Timp Haven
--mean girls
--boys not related to me
--heights
--being made fun of
--my mother giving me a bad perm

THINGS I FEARED IN HIGH SCHOOL
--not getting good grades
--heights
--losing girlfriends to their boyfriends
--disappointing my parents
--spiders
--getting another moving violation and losing my license

THINGS I FEARED IN COLLEGE
--I was too damn clueless in college to be afraid

THINGS I FEARED AS A YOUNG MOTHER
--I would turn out to be a crappy mother
--someone might call DFS on me if I turned out to be a crappy mother
--someone might drop in without calling first and notice that I was also a crappy housekeeper
--heights
--spiders
--reading the Sunday newspapers if BYU lost a football game

THINGS I FEARED WHEN I TURNED FORTY
--death
--heights
--the feeling of invincibility male adolescents have
--spiders
--the feeling that my best years were behind me and I hadn't done much
--I'd never publish another book

THINGS I FEAR NOW
--not death (oddly)
--the future and what it holds for my kids
--not knowing what I should do next as a writer
--spiders
--heights

THINGS I SHOULD BE AFRAID OF NOW (ONLY I"M NOT)
--Me driving at night