Friday, July 6, 2018

Oh, Jealousy

TRQ adored her grandmother, aka the game warden of Sublette County, Wyoming.  HOWEVER--(and TRQ always said this in a darkly warning voice)--Grandma Pat had one besetting sin.

Jealousy.

I never thought I was the jealous type myself, but it turns out that sometimes I am jealous of other writers' successes, even though I try really, really, really hard not to be.  And mostly I'm not now.  But yesterday when I read that a friend has a  new book on the NYT's Bestseller List, I got slammed sideways by an unexpected turbo-charged bolt of envy.  

I felt like gnashing my teeth.  Only I'm not sure exactly what "gnashing" involves and besides, do my teeth need any more abuse than the abuse I've already inflicted upon them over the decades?

Then I thought of this tiny poem I found in a collection of tiny poems by Rupi Kaur sitting on TRQ's kitchen counter the other day.  (Also, may I just say it's sometimes surprising what I find sitting  on TRQ's kitchen counter?)

Here goes--

How do I shake this envy
When I see you doing well
Sister, how do I love myself enough to know
Your accomplishments are not my failures.

You can maybe argue about the quality of the poem itself.  But the sentiment?  Yes, please.

1 comment:

Donna Tagliaferri said...

I am so relieved you wrote this...last Sunday I was completely bowled over by jealousy and envy in a place I never thought it would occur. And its way worse than yours. I was jealous and envious of a woman who got a calling I thought I should have on top of it I had been released that day from a calling I really liked to do something I did not want to do. Thank you for telling your story...I spent the day moping and speaking to myself in a voice I thought I would listen to. I was awful....but it gets better and I forgive myself because I live in a fallen world. xxoo