And now time for a little interpretive dance

Really? You can do an interpretive dance about "The Hurt Locker"?

Demi Moore

Looks uncomfortable. Don't you think? And all one color, too, from head to toe. Kind of like a really, really expensive ace-bandage.

She's pretty, though.

Twilight people

But where's her boyfriend? The vampire? Getting fake abs spray-painted on his stomach? Again?

Oh, good. Here comes that famous clip from "Jaws" which reminds me--did you know that shark attacks have gone down since the recession hit? I heard that on "This American Life" with Ira Glass yesterday. Shark attacks are down because no one can afford to go to Florida on vacations these days.

Geoff just asked . . .

. . . how much longer this is going to last. And I'm feeling a little fatigued, too. Although apparently Steve Martin can still make me laugh with a good clothes whore joke.

Time to fortify myself with some chips and salsa. And good news! I mounted an intense, take-no-prisoners search and rescue operation which resulted in me finding some licorice. Mango-flavored.

Here's somebody else I love

Morgan Freeman.

And oh good! Here comes the Queen. I love her, too. And I stand by my original assessment that she looks GREAT in pink.

Don't you wish they'd honored Lauren Bacall tonight? I mean seriously? Watch "To Have and Have Not." She teaches Bogart to whistle in that one.

I haven't seen "An Education." And actually here's what I'm realizing. I've hardly seen any of these movies. I seriously just do not see that many movies any more.

Screenplay

i'm digging the way they're presenting screenplay stuff this year. Like I really LOVE how they're showing the bits of script.

I never thought I wanted to write a screenplay. But who knows. Maybe I'll try someday. LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN AMERICA.

RACHEL!!!! STOP DYING YOUR HAIR BLOND. I'm serious.

Make up

The real young Victoria was only that good-looking in her dreams.

And okay. I am secretly glad that "Star Trek" won because I liked that movie a lot more than I thought I would.

Also, I think as a general rule men should not ear berets to the Oscars. Even guys who do makeup for Star Trek.